I suspect that, by now, most men with even a page’s worth of basic fashion knowledge would know that there’s more than one way to tie a tie. Three, to be precise. The problem is, there’s only one way to f*%k it up.

The Knots

You have the four-in-hand (or as I call it, ‘the rebel’), the Windsor (or as I call it, ‘the gentleman’) and the half-Windsor (or as I call it, ‘the not-so-gentleman’).

It upsets me to see so many well thought-out ensembles cheapened by the wrong choice of a knot. If you’re required to wear a tie on a daily basis, I understand how easily it gets lost in a list of mundane have-to-do’s throughout one’s day; ironing to remove a highly visible crease while unknowingly creating another one, brushing your teeth for what seems to be the longest 2 minutes of your life, inhaling fatal amounts of fragrant alcohol oozing from the pores of the person sitting next to you on the train or bus, who appears to have a wholesale account with the local perfumery.

Tying a knot tends to lose meaning because one assumes the important thing is the color, pattern and texture of a given tie. I’ve come to realize that, on a subliminal level, the choice of a knot plays a crucial role in the finishing touches of an outfit.

Let us dissect:

1. The four-in-hand (‘the rebel’)

The four-in-hand is the easiest and quickest knot to tie, and it’s also noticeably asymmetrical. The perfect upside-down triangle a knot is meant to create is slightly at a tilt, giving the custom noose a playful casualness with a pinch of anarchistic sex appeal.

2. The Windsor (‘the gentleman’)

I won’t go into the history of this, my favorite knot, although it’s a rich one. I will say, however, that it is the boldest, most regal looking of the knots in part due to its three-dimensional fullness. To me, it’s a knot one must earn, but it’s also a knot to be worn by men of experience. In other words, men of a certain age or related demeanor. I stand by this theory.

3. The half-Windsor (‘the not-so-gentleman’)

I call the half-Windsor ‘the not-so-gentleman’ knot because it’s a smaller version of the Windsor and actually reduces the amount of steps by one. Not much to say about this except that it’s not as bulky as the Windsor. To me, it’s cheating. Then again, I’m a bit of a prude concerning the rules of wearing a tie.

Keep in mind that other factors are also involved. For instance, one’s knot preference must get along with the collar style of one’s choosing, and must also compliment the shape of one’s face. A wide face coupled with a Windsor knot will only make you look bloated. For a slimming effect, go with ‘the rebel’. After all, ‘the gentleman’ deserves a little more respect than that.

Choose your knots wisely, my friends.